Which path to take?  What will happen?  How can you improve your decision making?

Do you find yourself in those places from time to time where you need to figure out what to do?  How do you make life choices?

Do you follow someone else’s path?  Do you make your own?  What will it be?  How can you choose?

For part of my life I made decisions in a vacuum with my gut and did not think through them the way I should have, or sometimes thought about those things way too much.  Either way I would suggest is not the best way of trying to make an informed decision.

So what do I do now?  How do I process? Might any of these be helpful to you?  A few thoughts:

1)  Take the emotion out of the decision unless it is helpful to you – have a clear head when processing.

2)  Ask a few trusted advisors who know you well for their thoughts and opinions.

3)  Take time to sleep on your thoughts, if you have the time to process through the decision.  Sometimes things look different in the morning.

4)  List out pros and cons in your head, or better yet, on some form of paper or google document.

5)  Envision what saying yes to something looks like, and what no means.  Sometimes both can be good options depending on your situation.

6)  If it is job related, will you get a chance to do what you do best every day?  For a majority of the day?

7)  If you say yes, what does it commit you to?  Do you know what you are getting into?

8)  If it is time related and you are busy (who is not busy?), and you say yes, what are you saying no to in the rest of your life?  For every yes, there may be a no.

9)  Do you have any experience in your life that you can draw on to help inform the decision?  What has happend in your past that might help you decide?

10)  Ultimately have a clear head, and go with your gut – then have no regrets.

Decision making is something we do thousands of times of day, and we only think through a few of those decisions.  When you get to a place where you have one of those bigger decisions to make hopefully you can have some time to run through a few of those suggestions listed above.

A number of years ago I faced a time in my life where I had two paths that were obvious – one, to stay working at a job in politics, or two, go on to graduate school and move into a totally different field.  I chose to leave politics and go on to graduate school.  I regret absolutely nothing about that decision.  Yesterday I flew into San Diego for work and was going down an escalator at the airport.  I have been to San Diego a number of times for work and mostly have not thought much at all while traveling down that escalator.  But yesterday I did – I thought about the first time in 2001 when I came to San Diego for work and everything that has happened since then.  It was like the last decade flashed before my eyes while traveling down the escalator.  By the time I reached first floor I had a smile on my face thinking – I am so glad I made the decision I made to leave DC and head back to Minnesota.

Decisions… Decisions..

What are some of your suggestions for healthy decision making?

What do you do?  What is your process?

A really good friend of mine was going back and forth me recently in a series of text messages about receiving some feedback.  This feedback was from an unknown source – but it was directed at them.  I told them, as I have in the past, that I am not a fan of anonymous feedback, good or bad.  If someone is passionate about giving you their opinion then they should sign their name to it.  Stand behind your word I say!

After that exchange I wondered aloud to myself, is there anything in life I would do differently?  What would be the major things I would change?  I am not sure of the correlation between anonymous feedback and these thoughts, but it prompted me to think about the course of my life so far.  What has life taught me?  So much.

I like to think as I age I am a better learner of life lessons, and I think I am.  Does age = learning those lessons in an easier way?  Not sure.

Here are a few things I think I know and would do differently if I had to live life again:

1.  I would care a lot less about what other people think of me – (most of the time they are not thinking about me anyway)

2.  See #1

3.  I would be more generous and less selfish – giving and expecting nothing in return

4.  I would worry less about being employed and more about connecting my talents and passion to a calling

5.  I would spend even more time with people who invested in my life

6.  I would spend more time with my Dad, before he passed away

7.  I would spend more time with my friend Dave who passed away way before his time RIP bro..

8.  I would have passed on dating a few people (and maybe they would have passed on me )

9.  I would thank people who helped me more profusely

10.  I would try and nail every human interaction I had in a more positive way

Those are just a few.  I am sure we all have some.  The only thing I can do is live now – how can I look at that list and do better moving forward?  How can I live a life of no regrets?  How can we all do this?

What would be things you might do differently starting tomorrow based on reflections from your own life?  All we can do is start now.

It is up to you.

PS:  The picture above is from a golf hole I had the privilege of playing  on the island of Kauai, Hawaii a few years ago.  Before I hit my shot I took that picture and thought about how blessed my life is.  I am so thankful, so grateful, and far from perfect.

As a side note I did hit the green and if you look really closely you will see my ball.  That life lesson is that even a really average golfer can hit the green once in a while.

Have you ever wondered how you can achieve success?  I will assume that you have a personal definition of what success looks like for you, but in general, do you know how you can arrive at what you define as being successful?

What does one dictionary define as success?

suc·cess / noun

The favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors. The attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.  A successful  performance or achievement: The play was an instant success.  A person or thing that is successful: She was a great success on the talk show.

Almost all of those things have to do with gaining something, wealth, etc.  For me, success is about if I get a chance to do what I do best everyday and help other people along the way.  If people I come into contact with are successful, I feel like, I too, am successful.

So, yes, for me success is about achievement, but not just for myself.  In fact, I think, in order for me to be successful I cannot do that alone, and I need to do it with other people. Anytime I have had successes in life, other people helped me achieve.  My parents encouraged me in sports, drove me to swim meets and baseball games.  My teachers helped me learn about how to write well, and read fast.

I chose to start this post off with a picture of the White House I took a few years ago when I was in Washington, DC.  For some, becoming the President of the United States represents the pinnacle of success in our country.  It is a symbol of power and prestige.  It also ages whoever is the boss of that place considerably with the pressure that the office exerts on the office holder.

But I digress.  This post was supposed to focus on what is your greatest change of success?  My answer is it probably lies wherever you already are.  What is your current platform?  Do you have a job?  Do you have a volunteer group that you work with?  Whatever it is, where you are can usually help you achieve whatever you define as success.

I was greatly influenced, and continue to be, by one of my mentor’s Dr. Greg Bourgond.  Greg was my supervisor for a number of years and constantly reminded me to nail where I was.  Not only was this smart for him as a manager, it also helped me in that work setting.   Was I faithful with small things?  Was I present in the moment not wondering what would happen in the future?  Did I achieve some results in my department?  I would not have been able to do those things if I had not been focused on nailing that platform.  That platform, or your current platform, can help you build or lose credibility in the area you are in.  Do things well over and over again?  People will trust you.  They will give you more responsibility.

Another piece of this that is slightly parallel but tied and equally important is the fact that the people who you work or serve alongside are so important to your success.  Even when they might leave to go to another organization they will remember what it is like to serve or work with you.  They will tell people about you when people ask what it was like to work with you.  They may recommend you for future opportunities in their new zone.  Never ever forget the people you work with and how much they matter.  They are so important, make sure you treat them that way.

It is a small world.  I am reminded of this constantly.  Do not burn bridges.

Is my end goal for my own success to be the President of the United States?  No.

Is my end goal to impact the most people I can in a positive way that helps them succeed? Yes.

Paying attention to your current platform and nailing it on a daily basis from doing what you say you are going to do, and being faithful with small things will only increase your chance of success – however you define it.

We all have fear.  Fear of this, fear of that – sometimes those fears can become debilitating, other times they just bother us every once in a while.  What are your fears?  I have a few.  I am afraid of being hit by a car when I cross the street, but only when I am going behind or in front of a bus.  I have no idea where this came from, but it is real to me.  You will see me be really careful when I am in that situation.  The fear is not something that I cannot overcome, but it is real.  Somehow, I am able to function in life even though those specific situations make me nervous and anxious at times.

Another fear that I have is a fear of heights, but specifically worrying about when I am up high that something will give way and I will plunge to an untimely death.  Irrational?  Yes, probably because after all these years it has never happened, and I am often ‘up high.’  The picture on this post was taken a few years ago at Big Sky Ski Resort in Montana.  The top of the mountain, Lone Peak, to be exact.  Lone Peak is one of the few places in the USA where you can take a lift (tram) to the top of the mountain.  Here is a picture of Lone Peak:

Lone Peak looms as you approach, it is intimidating  unrelenting and to me, inviting.  When you get up there you feel very small.  There is a nervous anxiety that sets in for me as I get off the tram, something like, I am not supposed to be up here, but I will figure it out and make my way down.  At that point it is about overcoming fear for me – a fear that I might not be able to navigate my way down the mountain.

The first time I skied down from Lone Peak to the bottom of the mountain was sometime just before Christmas in 1996.  I was on a trip with some college friends out west skiing after finals had ended for school.  We were out there and of course, the minute the tram was open, we headed to the top.  Back then I did not think much about if I could do something, it was more just, do it and figure it out.  So, I went to top and skied down.  It was very challenging but I made it.

I have since skied down a number of times from Lone Peak to the bottom, some 4,000 vertical feet.  A few years ago I was with a group of friends and we went to the top of Lone Peak.  Here is a picture of us about to take the decent:

Do you see that edge in the distance?  That is just, well, where it goes straight down.  Looking at this picture gives me a nervous energy that borders on “why would I ever do this?”  How do I overcome the fear to be able to achieve the goal of making it down the mountain?  Part of me just does it.  Part of me taps into the fact that I have skied for my whole life and knows that I can handle it.  Part of me wants the rush of living on the edge.  Part of me wonders if my life insurance is up to date.  All those things rush through my head and then you know what?  I take it step by step.  I don’t get ahead of myself.  I rely on training and experience and courage and do it.

Someday maybe I will pass on this challenge.  I don’t think it will be anytime soon.  What are your fears?  How do you overcome your fears?  I think it starts with examining the reasons behind why you are afraid in the first place.  These things are real, and to ignore them is not smart.  But I think, you can break through those walls.  The more you do it, the more the fear may vanish into the recesses of your brain.  There are part of those fears that will stick with you, and you will always deal with, but I think it is manageable.

Writing this post  makes me want to ski, way up high, and a bit nervous that I might die in the process.  We are complicated beings right?
 

Time to vote

My whole life I have been fascinated with the concept of government and the right to vote.  My earliest memory of this whole process was my Dad, a lifelong Democrat, coming into our house in 1980 and exclaiming, “I voted for Reagan.”  This marked a shift in our suburban Chicago home, our family had just become Reagan Democrats.  I was only six years old, but I still remember that image of my Dad, exercising his right to vote, and how excited he was.

Four years later, I was 10, and I remember sitting in front of our 20 inch television and watching state after state, except for Minnesota, go for President Reagan in one of the most lopsided victories ever against Walter Mondale.  Another reason why I would be shocked if Minnesota goes for Mitt Romney tonight, it never happens for Republicans here in the presidential election.

In 1988 I was a big Bob Dole fan, but that election was not to be for him, rather President Bush #1 took that contest from and over matched Michael Dukakis.  In eighth grade I was Bob Dole in a debate that included students portraying Jesse Jackson, George Bush, and more.

In 1992 I was too apathetic and lazy as a just turned 18 year old and I did not register to vote, and still regret that.  I had the right to do it, and I did not.  Why?  See the last few sentences.  In 1996 I would not repeat that error and voted while in college this time for Bob Dole in a losing effort against President Clinton.

The right to vote is something that has evolved in our country over time and did not always include huge groups of people, women, African Americans and more.  Long hard battles have been fought to defend our country and our way of life.  Long hard battles have been fought over getting those groups I mentioned the right to vote.  To be represented in our democracy.  While far from perfect, we still have the best thing going – where people get to choose leaders who represent them.  Not dictators, not Kings, but men and women from different parties who do their best to govern our unique country.

Today is the day.  If you are eligible - get out and vote.  The lines are extremely long today which warms my heart because at least here in south Minneapolis, people are using this right to vote!

A few years ago I was in line to vote at our local polling place and I was standing behind a local man named Sonny.  Sonny was a World War II veteran who started Sonny’s Ice Cream when he came back from serving our country in the war, and there he was, 80+ years old in a long line to vote.  They came out and offered him a chance to cut the line because he was elderly, and he looked at them and politely declined saying he could be in line like everyone else.

My heart and patriotic pride were moved then, and they are both moved now as I write this to you all today.  Get out there and vote – be a Sonny.